William Thomas - Humourist, Columnist, Scriptwriter

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One of Canada's premier humourists, William Thomas is also a scriptwriter, a speaker, a nationally syndicated newspaper columnist and a radio and television commentator. Wiliam has entertained national audiences on the shows of Mike Bullard, Vicki Gabereau, and Dini Petty, as well as being a regular on Basic Black, CBC's national radio show. William has twice been nominated for the prestigious Gemini Awards for writing movies for television. An award winning author, William's book, The Dog Rules — Damn Near Everything! - the smash hit of publishing in 2001 - sustained a phenominal run on the bestseller list for an unprecedented 47 weeks!

William's hilarious but true message to the audience — humour is the natural cure for stress and laughter is life's ultimate healer.


  • William Thomas is an author, a scriptwriter, a radio and television commentator and a nationally syndicated newspaper columnist.
  • He's been nominated twice for The Gemini Award for writing movies for television.
  • His weekly column, From the Land Of the Loony appears in 45 Canadian and U.S. newspapers. He's the senior writer for STITCHES — Canada's Journal of Medical Humour.
  • His travel pieces appear in The Globe and Mail, DreamScapes and National Geographic's Traveler Magazine.
  • He's the author of seven books of humour including the story about his cat Malcolm entitled Life In the Litterbox. You don't have to buy the book, in the end, she got the car, he got the cat. He wrote the definitive book on male behaviour entitled Guys — Not Real Bright and Damn Proud Of It! And of course, his fine tribute to the great Canadian sport of curling Hey! Is That Guy Dead Or Is He the Skip? William claims 5000 curlers bought that book...and later burned it. The book about his wee Irish mother, Margaret And Me was subtitled All Humour Needs A Victim and Your Mother Should Come First! His last book, The Dog Rules Damn Near Everything! enjoyed 49 straight weeks atop The National Post's Canadian Bestseller List simultaneously hitting hit Number One in The Post, The Star, The Globe and McLean's Magazine.
  • The Dog Rules... was nominated by the Canadian Book Sellers Association as the People's Choice Award for the Best Book for the year 2001 and the Best Non-Fiction Book in Canada for the year 2001.
  • His new book is a collection of hilarious misadventure and really bad travel tips. The title: Never Hitchhike on the Road Less Travelled. (No cars, eh?)

What people are saying...

"Mr. Thomas: On behalf of the Smithsonian Associates, please accept my warmest thanks for your providing our group with a terrific series of lectures last week. I'm delighted that you had a good time as well. You are not only a wonderful speaker, but also blessed with the ability to get everyone involved right from the start. That kind of participation is what we seek in a seminar."

–Coordinator, Smithsonian Associate

"Thank you very much for providing us with a much needed evening of entertainment as our annual members' conference in Guelph. The response to the evening was extremely positive. You continued to be the topic of conversation well into the evening in our networking suite. It is refreshing to work with someone who takes the time to truly customize their presentation and involve the audience."

–Manger, Conference and Event Planning, The Society of Management Accountants of Ontario

"We were delighted to have Willam Thomas as our closing speaker. His presentation and subject matter kept everyone in fits of laughter. Just what the doctor ordered for the OMC delegates after participating in four full days and nights of conference activities. Bill's many talents as a humourist author and speaker brought rave reviews from all in attendance. I would recommend Bills's services to anyone and would certainly be delighted to have him back at future events."

–54th Annual Conference of Ontario School Boards




  • Family, pets, baby-boomers, sports, politics, guys, all brought to you live from "Canada — The Land of The Looney"
  • Current events and everyday life to enhance health and relieve stress
  • Not jokes, but wonderful, true screw-ups in our lives
  • Caring for aged ones. Where there's humour, there's always hope
  • "You might as well laugh, nobody's getting out of this one alive"